so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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