So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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