PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
