I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Randomize
