Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
