just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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