bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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