he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
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