The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize