i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize