She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
