hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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