Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize