I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
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