I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
