Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
