Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
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