I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
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