Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
