FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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