Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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