Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Randomize
