i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
