What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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