I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Randomize
