Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
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