I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
