Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
