Swine flu. Run for my life!
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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