Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
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