Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Of course I have a pirate flag
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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