I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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