Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
she peed on how many people?
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
PANTIES FOUND
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