So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
