It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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