i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
