My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
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