That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
