I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
