If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
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