Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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