What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
