Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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