It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
