I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
There's always time for handjobs
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Boobs speak an international language.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
