Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
If that was your dad, he is hot
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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