You're completely useless in the revolution.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
