He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Randomize