I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Randomize
