I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I got inside last night via doggy door
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Randomize
