His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
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