id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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