i permit you to call me
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
