Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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