no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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