I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Randomize
