**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize