Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
