Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Randomize
