question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
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