my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
