could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Randomize
