i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
